love means

in the very early daylight hours today, in those moments between awake and asleep, i found myself sitting in my high school junior english class. it was 1970 and there i was between brian oler and dale oakes, in a short skirt i'm sure since it was a sign of the times. we had a dress code and were not allowed to wear pants to school but mini skirts were allowed. go figure. mr. avery had written these words on the blackboard: "love means never having to say you're sorry". the assignment: either defend or refute that statement. it was the time of love story. i'd read the book and seen the movie. i'd cried the requisite tears when jenny died. i'd also had a complete fit of giggles during the movie when ollie climbed into bed with her with his shoes on. although not at all worldly and quite naive, i was smart enough to recognize the commercial aspect of both the book and the movie -- designed to make all us teenage girls sappy and weak in the knees. i think i was a bit resistant to that kind of brainwashing and i thought the line from the movie was pure crap. so, pencil in hand, i poured my thoughts out on paper. i wrote of the need to always apologize to our loved ones. that in my mind saying i'm sorry ensured a successful relationship much more than i love you.

the next day, mr. avery started class by reading my essay. he didn't give my name away; i'm sure my crimson face did just that! he talked of my maturity and ability to see past a pop culture slogan which had the masses in awe. i was proud; i loved writing then and i've found my blog to be a wonderful way to practice those writing skills again.

and so, here i am today, 38 years later, a failed marriage, 18 years of raising two kids alone and over 12 years with my wonderful hubbie. is that naive, yet wise girl still here? i still see glimpses of her today. yes, i'm older and wiser and my journey has had twists and curves i did not anticipate. i let cynicism creep in occasionally. but i still wear a wonderful pair of rose-colored glasses that let me see the world as beautiful and full of hope when newscasters try to convince me otherwise. has the "always apologize" mantra served me well? yes, it has but where in my early life i was quick to say i'm sorry and take all the blame, the more confident me is much more apt to hold out a bit and wait for the apology i'm due. i'm better to me than i was in my early life. plus, i picked a much better partner to share my journey with this time around!!!

it's time to announce the winner of my give-away!!! drum roll, please! the name pulled out of the hat is diahn at art by diahn!! diahn, please let me know by e-mail your address and which design you want on your notecards and which design for your print. i'll get them out to you soon. thanks to everyone who participated. and, thanks for reading my little ramblings here. you all enrich my life so much by your participation!