Sunday, February 15, 2009

love means


in the very early daylight hours today, in those moments between awake and asleep, i found myself sitting in my high school junior english class. it was 1970 and there i was between brian oler and dale oakes, in a short skirt i'm sure since it was a sign of the times. we had a dress code and were not allowed to wear pants to school but mini skirts were allowed. go figure. mr. avery had written these words on the blackboard: "love means never having to say you're sorry". the assignment: either defend or refute that statement. it was the time of love story. i'd read the book and seen the movie. i'd cried the requisite tears when jenny died. i'd also had a complete fit of giggles during the movie when ollie climbed into bed with her with his shoes on. although not at all worldly and quite naive, i was smart enough to recognize the commercial aspect of both the book and the movie -- designed to make all us teenage girls sappy and weak in the knees. i think i was a bit resistant to that kind of brainwashing and i thought the line from the movie was pure crap. so, pencil in hand, i poured my thoughts out on paper. i wrote of the need to always apologize to our loved ones. that in my mind saying i'm sorry ensured a successful relationship much more than i love you.

the next day, mr. avery started class by reading my essay. he didn't give my name away; i'm sure my crimson face did just that! he talked of my maturity and ability to see past a pop culture slogan which had the masses in awe. i was proud; i loved writing then and i've found my blog to be a wonderful way to practice those writing skills again.

and so, here i am today, 38 years later, a failed marriage, 18 years of raising two kids alone and over 12 years with my wonderful hubbie. is that naive, yet wise girl still here? i still see glimpses of her today. yes, i'm older and wiser and my journey has had twists and curves i did not anticipate. i let cynicism creep in occasionally. but i still wear a wonderful pair of rose-colored glasses that let me see the world as beautiful and full of hope when newscasters try to convince me otherwise. has the "always apologize" mantra served me well? yes, it has but where in my early life i was quick to say i'm sorry and take all the blame, the more confident me is much more apt to hold out a bit and wait for the apology i'm due. i'm better to me than i was in my early life. plus, i picked a much better partner to share my journey with this time around!!!

it's time to announce the winner of my give-away!!! drum roll, please! the name pulled out of the hat is diahn at art by diahn!! diahn, please let me know by e-mail your address and which design you want on your notecards and which design for your print. i'll get them out to you soon. thanks to everyone who participated. and, thanks for reading my little ramblings here. you all enrich my life so much by your participation!

17 comments:

lori vliegen said...

dittos, dittos, you wise, sweet girl!! i remember that movie so well, and ryan o'neill was so cute...swoon, swoon! and speaking of which, look at your cute little self wearing those fun 70's clothes! i would have loved going to school with you...i know for sure that i would have sat next to you in english, and saved a seat for you at lunch time!! :)

p.s. congrats to diahn for winning some fabulous art!

willow said...

Oh, those plaid jumpers and puffy sleeve shirts with the pointy collars. I have pix of me just like this! Loved this post.

Martha Lever said...

Hi Julie,
I loved going dowm memory lane with you since I was a junior in 1970 also and saw Love Story and fell in love with Ryan O'neill. Mr. Strother, our stuffy English teacher, would never have let us have that much fun to write an essay like that. Love the pictures!!

Brenda Heisler said...

We would have been best friends in High School. I know that for sure!

I remember the movie. The best part of the movie for me was the theme song.

I've said I'm sorry a lot and never regretted it. I have regretted that more people didn't said it to me. Such is life.

I'm glad you have your art back as a banner. Love it.

WW said...

Wow...can't believe you're wearing the same outfit I had...lol

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

Wonderful post. I always thought that Love Story adage was a bunch of malarkey as well! I well remember thinking...scheesh, couldn't they do better than that??

Shana said...

Great post. Love the photos and the outfits. Very similar to the plaid jumpers my mom wore in HS - we used to try them on for fun when we were little. I can't believe how mini they were, and my Mom went to a Lutheran HS. :)

Christine said...

I enjoyed your reminiscence and the personal growth that's evolved from it all. Lovely, optimistic art, I gather you're a morning person? (-:

Auburn Kat said...

I just love those pictures of you!

nanatrish said...

What a great story and I love your pictures. You are younger than me, but I was certainly young enough to be caught up in the Love Story mania. Writing is so freeing and us having a blog is such a great way to express all this running around in our heads. I love your new banner.

cindy : quaint said...

i love the photo - so 'that girl'. thanks for sharing your evolution of the apology. i think your approach is just about right.

Regi S. said...

Love Story was hands down one of my mother's favorites. We even had the Love Story music ballerina box. That "sorry" line confused the heck out of me since we were constantly told to own up and apologize for mistakes or offenses. You were ahead of your time, it's easy nowadays to teach our kids about sensationalistic manipulation.

Regi S. said...

is that naive, yet wise girl still here?

I wonder the same thing at times and then I make sure to get in touch with her :)

Mmm said...

Love this post. glad you got it on the apology thing--quite true. Apologies keep one humble and respectful but too many is annoying too.

"i let cynicism creep in occasionally. but i still wear a wonderful pair of rose-colored glasses that let me see the world as beautiful and full of hope"
--Love that line.

Strider said...

Love the old pics....Weren't we cool in the '70's?

Lavinia said...

You know, I love this post. I never ever agreed with that stupid "love means never having to say you're sorry" line either. I do like the movie, though. Ryan O'Neal and Ali McGraw had amazing chemistry. What maturity you displayed in your essay and I love the groovy pic of you in your shades!

Robyn said...

I thoroughly enjoyed this post, thanks Julie. It couldn't have been easy raising 2 kids alone. My mom did it and I know it was very tough at times. It's great that you have found someone to share the next leg of the journey with.