Tuesday, April 27, 2010

it's complicated





i was in the hospital overnight on friday. a missed BP pill, a new BP pill, and a chronic allergy cough had me dizzy with mild heart attack symptoms. an overnight stay, a heart stress test (i passed just fine), a change in meds and a few days of rest have me feeling better. i don't feel great or really even my normal upbeat self. when i ask myself why, i just say "it's complicated".

i've been puttering around on a couple of new collages in my she series over the last 2 weeks. even though i've pushed myself out of my comfort zone with more paint and less collage, i'm not feeling elated to be in the art room.  when i ask myself why, i just say "it's complicated".

hubby is out of town for the week on business. although i usually love my alone time when he's gone, this absence has me feeling a bit lonely and out of sorts. when i ask myself why, i just say "it's complicated".

the emotional toll of seeing my parents health continue to deteriorate and finding myself in a caretaker role, has me out of balance. when i ask myself why, i just say "it's complicated".

work has been presenting some new creative challenges which i so need in my life right now. but i feel lacklustre and unmotivated. when i ask myself why, i just say "it's complicated".

i watched the movie "it's complicated" on demand today and i loved it. it made me laugh and cry and relate so much to the characters. meryl's face is showing her age a bit and i felt such a kindred spirit in her appearance and in the character she plays. it made me want to do something reckless, laugh til i cry and then eat a chocolate croissant. hee hee
but mostly the movie has me being reflective about my life and the people who've journeyed with me. on the one hand, it's all very complicated but on the other it's really all quite simple. we are where we are in our lives because of the choices we've made. and there's no need to make it any more complex than that.

i'm off to see the dr. and hopefully get a release to go back to work. i need the challenge, a reason to shower and get out of my pajamas, and the interaction with people. nothing complicated about that!
 





19 comments:

Christine said...

oh Julie, I hope you feel better soon, scary stuff. Maybe you should get one of those pill organizers, with the days of the week on them. I find it helps me with my BP pills.

maggie's garden said...

Hope you're off and running real soon. Sorry to hear you haven't been feeling well. xo

The Itsy Bitsy Spill said...

Julie,

Sweetie pie pie!!! Sending you my love an air hug to you and lot's blessings your way hon. MAY YOUR DAYS FILL YOUR HEART WITH STRENGTH AND LOADS OF LOVE. Breathe have fun no stress please! Take good care of your self and make awesome art. You are beautiful. This post touched me and know you are never alone. We are all here. Have a gorgeous day!!!

cindy said...

i hope you're feeling better, julie. life has been really challenging you, lately. sometimes, unfortunately, it happens on this roller coaster ride we call life. but, you always seem to find your way through the scary parts. maybe, not right away, and with some complications, but you will, again. you always do. miss you. xo, c

PrairiePeasant said...

I have had times where I definitely relate to the feelings you evoke with your words. Take care of yourself!

Joanna said...

Hope you're feeling better soon Julie. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Just be!

RNSANE said...

Oh, dear Julie, so happy you are home from the hospital and hope you are cleared to work, if you will feel better heading back. Please take good care of yourself. I am sure the puppies gave you lots of snuggles. I'm adding, "It's Complicated" to my Neflix list.

Jennifer said...

I really hope you are feeling better and back to your normal upbeat self soon Julie! :)

Shannon said...

JULIE! I'm so sorry to hear about all the things that are going on in your life! How scary that a missed bp pill had such a dominoe effect! I'm sending prayers and hugs your way. Please let us know how things go!

steviewren said...

Yikes! Take care of yourself! We don't want those kind of complications!

Didn't you just love the kitchen it that movie. I did. I laughed myself silly. I'm thinking that it is one movie I might need to buy.

Jennifer DeDonato said...

julie i hope you are feeling better. nothing makes you tired than spending the night in the hospital! i haven't seen that movie yet but you talking about it i put it on my list.

ArtistUnplugged said...

That had to be very scary to you and probably thinking how you didn't need the extra complication! Glad to hear that it is real serious but no doubt has you feeling horrible. I pray for a quick recovery, peace and strength as you recover and still deal with your loved ones. My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you.

The Vintage Sister said...

I'm so sorry you're not feeling yourself...I love yourself!! I hope you feel better soon in a very non-complicated way:)
Tracy

Brenda said...

I stumbled on your blog when googling "collage" and so glad I did! I have been hoping to get started in this medium and your examples inspired me to take the leap. Your tone is so positive and real. Thanks!
Brenda

Kelly Warren said...

"we are where we are in our lives because of the choices we've made. and there's no need to make it any more complex than that." you are a very wise woman, Julie King. :-) those are words to live by. i hope you are feeling better very soon.

tascha said...

Sending you lots of (((hugs)))

chiccoreal said...

Hope you are feeling better Julie! Have you heard about CoEnzymeQ10 being rx'd by a lot of dr's to their bp pts? It puts back the cellular energy taken away by the bp pills. Check it out. Your art looks so fine, and your pics are beautiful. I know what it is like being the "sandwiched" generation! You need more R&R!

Porch Days said...

Sorry to hear you have not been feeling well. Your photos are lovely!

Felicia Monique said...

"we are where we are in our lives because of the choices we've made. and there's no need to make it any more complex than that."

Yes!

(I'm reading quite late, and see that you are now feeling much better. Great!)