i was in the hospital overnight on friday. a missed BP pill, a new BP pill, and a chronic allergy cough had me dizzy with mild heart attack symptoms. an overnight stay, a heart stress test (i passed just fine), a change in meds and a few days of rest have me feeling better. i don't feel great or really even my normal upbeat self. when i ask myself why, i just say "it's complicated".
i've been puttering around on a couple of new collages in my she series over the last 2 weeks. even though i've pushed myself out of my comfort zone with more paint and less collage, i'm not feeling elated to be in the art room. when i ask myself why, i just say "it's complicated".
hubby is out of town for the week on business. although i usually love my alone time when he's gone, this absence has me feeling a bit lonely and out of sorts. when i ask myself why, i just say "it's complicated".
the emotional toll of seeing my parents health continue to deteriorate and finding myself in a caretaker role, has me out of balance. when i ask myself why, i just say "it's complicated".
work has been presenting some new creative challenges which i so need in my life right now. but i feel lacklustre and unmotivated. when i ask myself why, i just say "it's complicated".
i watched the movie "it's complicated" on demand today and i loved it. it made me laugh and cry and relate so much to the characters. meryl's face is showing her age a bit and i felt such a kindred spirit in her appearance and in the character she plays. it made me want to do something reckless, laugh til i cry and then eat a chocolate croissant. hee hee
but mostly the movie has me being reflective about my life and the people who've journeyed with me. on the one hand, it's all very complicated but on the other it's really all quite simple. we are where we are in our lives because of the choices we've made. and there's no need to make it any more complex than that.
i'm off to see the dr. and hopefully get a release to go back to work. i need the challenge, a reason to shower and get out of my pajamas, and the interaction with people. nothing complicated about that!