Thursday, September 17, 2009

time


i'm feeling the passing of time today. it is heavy on my heart. there's just never enough time to do everything i want to do. i don't worry too much about the things i need to do. my need to do list is fairly manageable. it's the things i want to do that are making me melancholy. remember when we were kids and it felt like the summer was so long. we had all the time in the world to run and play and leisurely hang out. no responsibilities never felt so good as in those innocent days.

as much as i adore fall, i do think that it intensifies this feeling in me. i find myself trying to do it all, drink it all in, savoring every nuance, taste, and sensation that is fall. it also has me asking why we didn't kayak more this summer. why didn't i have jenna over to play in the little pool on the patio? i try so hard to live my life without regrets but this sensation that time is spinning past me is well, just annoying! big sigh!

i just laughed out loud as i thought what my daughter megan would say to me right now. she'd say: "get your butt off the computer and go out and take some photos or a bike ride!!" and, as always, she's right! i've given in to this melancholy and i just need to fight back.

our local homemade custard shop closes for the summer/fall in 9 days. i'm off to have a double chocolate! nothing kicks a sad mood better than chocolate, right? what do you do when you're feeling sad?

17 comments:

Lisa at Greenbow said...

I would probably drink a beer or two if I was feeling meloncholy. I don't get that way very often. I hate it when it does come over me. I might also eat something I don't usually treat myself to. I love fall. As a gardener I always look at fall as a time I can slow down. I have more time to do things I like to do inside, like paint or be creative. Summer is not my time to be creative. I like those long cozy dark days of winter. Hole-up in my room creating.

I hope you feel better soon. Your daughter is right. A good bike ride would make you feel better. I love to ride my bike. I don't ride very often. I wonder why??!!

Jennifer said...

Homemade custard sounds like a pretty good way to kick a bad mood!! I'm thinking I might need some of that!

Lisa at Greenbow said...

P.S. Losing Presley is enough to make you meloncholy. Actually I think it is a healthy phase of grief. You will be better soon. Love and Hugs.

Martha Lever said...

Well, I think chocolate is what I need too. I am feeling somewhat ---mad actually... because I scraped my husband's new car (bad!) on the garage as I was pulling in. Then I broke my favorite salad bowl on the tile floor so I have actually already gotten into the Blue Bell straight out of the carton. Hope you feel better soon.

cindy said...

sometimes, i just let myself feel sad. it relieves the pressure to cheer up and then i usually do. a double chocolate sounds great!

steviewren said...

I usually listen to pensive music (my DIL calls it sad). It feeds the feeling but it is so beautiful in its intensely pensive way that it makes me feel better. If I'm depressed and sad there's nothing better than going to the movies for the afternoon.

I share a lot of the same feelings that you do. I wish I had more time with my grandchildren. I wish.....so many things....the computer does fill my time too much....chocolate makes everything better!

Betsy said...

This almost sounded like an 'over the hill' post for theme thursday! LOL! Yes, I agree that chocolate cures ANYTHING!

Joanna said...

Yes Julie, chocolate is definitely the way to go. I think you're still grieving over the loss of your little buddy. What a sweet photo you've posted in your sidebar. I know you must miss him very much. Go easy on yourself.

Mechelle Harrison said...

Julie your pictures are so beautiful! You use great angles which add so much dimension to them.

Let me know how it goes with the screen printing.I am still trying to figure this out.

elk said...

i believe in a good cry...in a glass of red wine...a walk with Sam (sorry) and sometimes just feeling it...

Christine said...

Julie, going for a walk helps me, but chocolate is not a bad idea!

Shannon said...

sorry to hear you are a bit melancholy... I think the more time I spend indoors on the computer, the more I feel the exact same way!

Cindy said...

Julie
I really felt like I could identify wit your post. I stop and reflect and have those similar thoughts, especially at the end of summer which is my favorite season....the things I wish I had done. I like what the other Cindy had to say...that its okay to feel sad and that it relieves the pressure of having to feel happy. I am so, so sorry about the loss of your little buddy.
Brownies, chocolate cake...they are tried and true friends. Hope that custard was yummy! :-)

Micki said...

OOh that sounds like me at the moment too, I always feel like that at this time of year, I am a terrible stress eater and will eat anything and everything to make me feel better, it never works though and I just get chubbier lol ;) There's no hope for me, but I hope your mood improves :)

Micki x

Susan said...

Wish I could join you for a double chocolate. Wink.

Elise said...

Hope you feel better soon - nothing lasts forever !

spread your wings said...

if i had a place to ride - to just hop on and go - a bike ride would do the trick for me nicely. i miss that form of relief.